This is the Crowning Service: it is a celebration of love; the realizing of God’s will that “they be one as we are one”. It is an icon of how life is meant to go: an example of the tangible way love – that is to say God – makes Himself real in this world. Submission? Yes, that and more. In imitation and participation with Christ, our love for our beloved is so strong and deep that we would both die and suffer for them and their needs. Our society avoids such commitments because it fears abuse; we live with trust and love with abandon because the entirety of our faith is devoted towards the development of healthy relationships.
Three pieces of advice:
Damon and Stevie’s first steps as a married couple!
- Dedication to Christ – self and together. You have begun this already!!! Requires kenotic service to each other and to the new ontological reality that is your union. Everything you do must be devoted to the tending and building up of each other and your marriage and valued based on how it fulfills that goal. This will mean giving up on opportunities that would have been wholesome and good when you were single; but don’t worry – others will take up that slack. You are on a very special path. It is a difficult one, but your have a committed partner – and an unfailing support and refuge in our God.
- Guard your holiness and the chastity of your union. Be very intentional in this. Starts in the home: the “little church”. Peace. Patience. Forgiveness. A place where love is tangible and negativity is swept out as quickly as any invading insect. Walk in the doors: all earthly cares fade away.
- Be a witness of love and commitment. What you are doing is meet and right, and will lead – through the grace of God – to your mutual perfection. However, it goes against every bit of the wisdom of the world. Even when our world praises marriage, the praise is contingent, based on what it does for the individual – it does not recognize its special ontology. When you are both kenotic and joyful; when you actually give things up for one another and your marriage and show how content you are with that choice and show how much happiness it brings you…. people are exposed to something real and deep and so much better than the temporary happiness our narcissistic culture prescribes for them. Provide this witness for one another, for your extended families, for your parish community (we love to see it and are strengthened by it), and for everyone. This includes your children – the witness and power of your marriage is the best gift you can give them; don’t fall into the worldly trap of putting them before your relationship. That is bad for them, for you, and for your marriage.
Conclusion
You both have incredible talents and entrepreneurial energy – you are already doing such amazing things – but a holy marriage will be both the best work of your lifetime and the greatest legacy you leave behind.
